Soul Gum

• We're Drowning in Choices and It's Ruining Our Lives: The Paradox of Choice

  We live in an age of seemingly infinite options. The internet has thousands of pages of search results for that thing you need to buy. Endless entertainment awaits on streaming platforms and social media. Dating apps offer a never-ending scroll of potential partners. So why does it feel impossible to find what we need? Why can’t you pick a movie to watch? Why is it harder than ever to find someone to love?  This episodes discusses the paradox of choice: the idea that more choices often make us less happy. Is more less when it comes to choices? If so, how can we live happily in an age of infinite options? Let's talk about it. EPISODE OUTLINE: 00:00 Intro 01:51 What is the paradox of choice? 02:37 Stanford jam study 06:12 Dating apps 07:10 Decision paralysis 08:53 Opportunity costs 09:13 Sylvia Plath's fig tree allegory 12:08 Expectation inflation 15:05 So what do we do about it? 15:57 Break 21:01 Kierkegaard's leap of faith 22:10 The Midnight Library by Matt Haig 24:17 Nietzsche's amor fati 27:49 Satisficing 30:00 The next right thing MY LINKS: ⁠Preorder my poetry book MAKE BELIEVE from Blue Willow to get a free poem print and a personalized signed copy⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠Preorder MAKE BELIEVE from Amazon, Target, Barnes & Noble, and more⁠ ⁠Get the Believe Again yoga flow, guided meditation and mini-journal bundle free when you preorder MAKE BELIEVE!⁠ ⁠Join me in Bali June 1-7! ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠Find me @thedailyvictorian on Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠Find me @thedailyvictorian on TikTok⁠⁠ 

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  34:28
• 5 Types of Friendship Breakups & How to Get Through Them

  Friend breakups hit different. They’re messy, heartbreaking, and rarely come with closure. In today’s episode, we’re breaking down five of the most common types of friendship breakups, why they happen, and how to survive them without losing your mind (or your faith in humanity). If you’ve ever mourned a friendship like it was a death, this one’s for you. EPISODE OUTLINE: 00:00 Intro  03:21 1. The Mutual Drift 04:18 Aristotle’s utility, pleasure and virtue friendships 06:46 Dunbar’s number: how many friendships can we maintain at once? 08:25 Carl Jung & making friends while wearing a mask 09:40 Mollenhorst’s social pruning study 10:06 Getting through a mutual drift 11:51 Break - with a surprise!  15:23 2. The One-Sided Slow Fade 17:00 How to get through it on the receiving end  19:09 What if you’re the one who’s fading away from a friend?  21:22 3. The Formal Breakup  23:38 How to break up with a friend ethically 24:47 Getting through a friend breaking up with you  25:34 4. The Blow Up  26:42 Sartre & conflict as a mirror of the self   27:44 Getting through a friendship blowing up  28:21 Hegel & conflict as an engine for growth 29:26 5. The Sudden Ghost  30:23 Getting through being ghosted by a friend 32:06 Lightning round recap  32:39 The peak-end rule  34:02 Journaling prompts for processing a friendship breakup  34:33 Poem: To Strangers I Used to Know MY LINKS ⁠Preorder my poetry book MAKE BELIEVE from Blue Willow to get a free poem print and a personalized signed copy⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠Preorder MAKE BELIEVE from Amazon, Target, Barnes & Noble, and more⁠ ⁠Get the Believe Again yoga flow, guided meditation and mini-journal bundle free when you preorder MAKE BELIEVE!⁠ ⁠Join me in Bali June 1-7! ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠Find me @thedailyvictorian on Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠Find me @thedailyvictorian on TikTok⁠⁠ 

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  36:32
• The Spiritual Reason You Can't Focus

  Your attention is sacred. It’s also for sale.  Maybe the reason you can’t get off your phone or stop wasting your Saturdays streaming a show you’ll forget the moment you finish the last episode or do what you say you will isn’t because you’re lazy. It’s not because you don’t want it badly enough. It’s not because you haven’t locked in. Maybe the reason you can’t focus is bigger than you entirely.  Today’s episode dives into the hidden reason we distract ourselves from our own lives and leaves you with 5 bite-sized ways to reclaim your brain. My fellow doomscrollers, rotters, and TikTok ban mourners: this one’s for you.  EPISODE OUTLINE: 02:18 The spiritual source of distraction 02:29 I. Nietzsche: staring into the abyss     03:43 II. Kierkegaard: sickness unto death 04:46 III. Victor Frankl: the search for meaning 08:04 IV. Kali yuga: the age of distraction  09:16 Enter: the attention economy  10:15 The Dorito theory  14:23 So what do we do about it? 14:31 5 steps to take back your focus 14:42 Break - with a surprise for you! 18:14 Step 1: the art of unitasking  23:05 Step 2: giving attention vs having it taken 25:14 Step 3: Dorito vs dinner list 26:48 Step 4: Dorito ritual  29:18 Step 5: Focus ritual 31:24 Lightning round recap MY LINKS: Preorder my poetry book MAKE BELIEVE from Blue Willow to get a free poem print and a personalized signed copy⁠⁠ Preorder MAKE BELIEVE from Amazon, Target, Barnes & Noble, and more Get the Believe Again yoga flow, guided meditation and mini-journal bundle free when you preorder MAKE BELIEVE! Join me in Bali June 1-7! ⁠⁠ Find me @thedailyvictorian on Instagram⁠⁠ Find me @thedailyvictorian on TikTok⁠ (if it ever gets un-banned...) SHOW LINKS: Dorito theory TikTok Slot machine dopamine study Study on the cognitive strain of multitasking

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  35:32
• 10 Things about Dating I Wish I Knew in My 20s

  This episode should be called ten HARD TO HEAR things about dating I wish I knew in my twenties because... oof. Buckle up. The dating scene in your twenties is the trenches. I wish I could go back in time and tell all this to younger me. It would save her so many hours and tears and good outfits on bad dates with people who don't like her. Instead, I'll tell you. I learned each of these lessons the hard way, but you don't have to! I present to you: 10 things I wish I knew about dating in my twenties. EPISODE OUTLINE 00:00 Intro  01:20 Break 04:09 If they treat you like they don’t care, they don’t 06:41 Someone not liking you doesn't make them a catch 10:06 Running at the first sign of conflict isn’t a flex 13:21 If you’re attracted to games, you’re the problem 16:36 Stop seeking closure from your exes  19:05 Don’t date their potential 20:14 Being single rocks 23:05 Love is not all you need  23:36 You can’t make them stay if they want to go 30:58 You can’t scare away the right person 33:39 Lightning round recap LINKS: Preorder my poetry book MAKE BELIEVE from Blue Willow to get a free poem print and a personalized signed copy Preorder MAKE BELIEVE from Amazon, Target, Barnes & Noble, and more! Join me in Bali June 1-7! Find me @thedailyvictorian on Instagram Find me @thedailyvictorian on TikTok

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  35:54
• 8 Clues to Your Purpose

  Feel like you’re meant for something more but can’t put your finger on what that “more” is? This episode is here to help. The bad news is: finding your purpose in a world full of distractions and expectations is hard. Like, super hard. The good news is: we’ve been struggling with this since the dawn of humanity, so lots of extremely smart people have piped up about it.Clues to your purpose are hiding in unexpected places. Today, we’ll explore 8 of those clues, as proposed by some of humanity’s greatest minds. Consider this episode a field guide out of your existential crisis. Brought to you by me: your friendly neighborhood lawyer-turned-creative, fresh out of the trenches of living someone else’s life. SHOW OUTLINE: 00:00 Intro 03:14 If you're looking for your purpose, look for... 03:42 1. What you loved as a kid (Nietzsche)06:31 2. What makes you jealous (Nietzsche)10:15 3. What puts you into flow state (Csikszentmihalyi)13:00 Break 15:56 4. What you see everywhere16:32 The Invisible Gorilla Experiment17:30 The Cocktail Party Effect 18:34 Attention as Devotion (Mary Oliver and Simone Weil)19:00 5. What makes you uncomfortable (Carl Jung) 20:56 6. What connects you to the world (Bhagavad Gita)23:30 7. What you want your purpose to be (Albert Camus) 26:36 8. Here and now (Alan Watts)30:07 Lightning Round SummaryMY LINKS:​⁠⁠Preorder my poetry book MAKE BELIEVE from Blue Willow to get a free poem print and a personalized signed copy⁠⁠​⁠⁠Preorder MAKE BELIEVE from Amazon, Target, Barnes & Noble, and more! ⁠⁠​⁠⁠Join me in Bali June 1-7! ⁠⁠​⁠⁠Find me @thedailyvictorian on Instagram⁠⁠​⁠⁠Find me @thedailyvictorian on TikTok⁠

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  31:39

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