The Anxious Achiever

You’re not trying to control people. You’re trying to help. But what if your “help” is quietly draining your team’s confidence, creativity, and trust? In this episode, I sit down with Professor Julia Milner of EDHEC Business School to talk about the psychology of micromanagement, especially the kind that comes from anxiety, care, and good intentions. We dive into the difference between constructive feedback and control disguised as questions, the “advice trap” that keeps leaders stuck, and why micromanaging often feels safer in the moment but costs you long-term trust, dialogue, and time. Tune in to learn how to replace fixing with serving, advice with curiosity, and control with empowerment.

Check out our sponsors:

Northwest Registered Agent - Protect your privacy, build your brand and get your complete business identity in just 10 clicks and 10 minutes! Visit https://www.northwestregisteredagent.com/achieverfree

Shopify - Sign up for a $1 per month trial, just go to http://shopify.com/anxiousachiever

Talkiatry - Head to http://talkiaitry.com/achiever and complete the short assessment to get matched with an in network psychiatrist in just a few minutes.

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Brevo - Meet brevo, the all in one marketing and CRM platform built to help you connect with customers, boost engagement and grow your business smarter. Go to brevo.com/achiever and use code ACHIEVER50 for 50% off. 

In this Episode, You Will Learn

00:00 Why micromanagers often act from anxiety.

04:15 How to spot motivational micromanagement.

06:30 Why do you hate being micromanaged?

12:00 How micromanagement increases anxiety on both sides.

14:15 The subtle way “questions” can shut down dialogue.

18:00 How to give upward feedback without triggering defensiveness.

20:45 What it means to adopt a coaching mindset.

22:00 Phrases you can use to reset a micromanaging dynamic.

28:45 What’s the difference between feedback and feed forward?

30:30 How do you treat yourself with grace?

33:00 What the best empowering leaders all have in common.

Resources + Links

Get a copy of my book - The Anxious Achiever

Watch the podcast on YouTube 

Find more resources on our website morraam.com

Follow

Follow me: on LinkedIn @morraaronsmele + Instagram @morraam

Follow Prof. Julia on LinkedIn @drjuliamilner

Self-understanding is the foundation of great leadership. In this episode, I sit down with Margaret Andrews, leadership educator, former executive director of the MBA program at MIT Sloan, and author, to talk about why leadership begins as an inside job. Margaret shares the 6 self-understanding questions, the best boss exercise that shows what people value in leadership, and why interpersonal skills aren’t about being affable. Tune in to rethink what it really means to manage yourself to lead others effectively.

Check out our sponsors:

Northwest Registered Agent - Protect your privacy, build your brand and get your complete business identity in just 10 clicks and 10 minutes! Visit https://www.northwestregisteredagent.com/achieverfree

Shopify - Sign up for a $1 per month trial, just go to http://shopify.com/anxiousachiever

Cozy Earth - Give your home the luxury it deserves. Head to http://cozyearth.com and use code ACHIEVER for up to 20% off.

Express VPN - Secure your online data today. Visit http://expressvpn.com/achiever and find out how you can get up to four extra months.

Talkiatry - Head to http://talkiaitry.com/achiever and complete the short assessment to get matched with an in network psychiatrist in just a few minutes.

Working Genius - Take the working genius assessment today and get 20% off with code ACHIEVER at working http://genius.com

In this Episode, You Will Learn

00:00 What to do when you’re triggered before you have to show up.

05:00 What is the best way to lead?

10:00 The “best boss” exercise and what 20 years of data reveal.

14:15 The 3 traits that separate good bosses from great ones.

18:15 What is managing yourself to lead others?

22:30 How moments of “hot shame” shape your leadership patterns.

25:00 Why you can’t manage what you don’t understand.

29:00 Should you improve weaknesses or maximize strengths?

33:30 The most common reasons leaders derail.

38:00 How to grow without losing credibility.

42:00 Why telling people what you’re working on can build trust.

45:00 Ways to practice self-management without losing status.

49:00 How do you get unscared of heart emotions?

Resources + Links

Learn more about Margaret Andrews HERE

Get your copy of Margaret’s book, Manage Yourself to Lead Others HERE

Get a copy of my book - The Anxious Achiever

Watch the podcast on YouTube 

Find more resources on our website morraam.com

Follow

Follow me: on LinkedIn @morraaronsmele + Instagram @morraam

Follow Margaret on LinkedIn @margaretcandrews

We’re told to “bring our whole selves to work.” But what if that advice is burning you out, especially if you’re anxious, neurodivergent, or wired differently? In this episode, I’m joined by psychologist and author Dr. Tomas Chamorro-Premuzic to talk about why radical authenticity can actually harm your career, your relationships, and your energy. We dive into the difference between feeling authentic and being perceived as authentic, why emotional intelligence is really impression management in disguise, and how leaders who seem “real” are often the most curated of all. Tune in to rethink what authenticity really means and discover how to show up at work in a way that’s true to you and sustainable.

Check out our sponsors:

Northwest Registered Agent - Protect your privacy, build your brand and get your complete business identity in just 10 clicks and 10 minutes! Visit https://www.northwestregisteredagent.com/achieverfree

Shopify - Sign up for a $1 per month trial, just go to http://shopify.com/anxiousachiever

Cozy Earth - Give your home the luxury it deserves. Head to http://cozyearth.com and use code ACHIEVER for up to 20% off.

Express VPN - Secure your online data today. Visit http://expressvpn.com/achiever and find out how you can get up to four extra months.

Talkiatry - Head to http://talkiaitry.com/achiever and complete the short assessment to get matched with an in network psychiatrist in just a few minutes.

Working Genius - Take the working genius assessment today and get 20% off with code ACHIEVER at working http://genius.com

In this Episode, You Will Learn

00:00 Should you ever be your whole self at work?

04:00 Why “just be yourself” is bad career advice.

07:15 What’s the difference between feeling authentic and being seen as authentic?

09:45 How over-identifying with work fuels burnout.

12:15 Why the leaders we trust most are often the most curated.

14:15 What impression management really means.

16:45 Why every role calls for a different version of you.

19:00 The cost of “bring your whole self” for neurodivergent people.

22:00 Where does the authenticity movement come from?

25:15 How modern work became a soft cult.

29:00 Can you belong without over-sharing?

33:45 Why engagement and performance aren’t the same thing.

36:15 The generational shift toward radical honesty.

39:00 When does being “real” harm your team?

42:15 The rules that actually create psychological safety.

44:30 Why reputation matters more than intention.

47:00 How to learn how you’re really seen.

50:00 The truest definition of self-awareness.

Resources + Links

Get Dr. Tomas Chamorro-Premuzic’s book Don’t Be Yourself

Learn more about Tomas’s work on leadership, personality, and potential HERE

Get a copy of my book - The Anxious Achiever

Watch the podcast on YouTube 

Find more resources on our website morraam.com

Follow

Follow me: on LinkedIn @morraaronsmele + Instagram @morraam

Follow Tomas on LinkedIn @drtomaschamorro

We’ve never talked more about mental health at work and yet, burnout is rising, disengagement is everywhere, and leaders still feel stuck. In this episode, I’m joined by strategy coach and former PwC partner David Lancefield to talk about why the current approach isn’t working and what actually creates change. David shares why “mental health” has a bad brand in corporate life, how leaders can engage even the most skeptical executives, and why the real leverage point isn’t awareness campaigns, but better questions. We also dive into why small pilots beat big programs, and how leaders can design environments where people do their best work. Tune in to know what it means to treat mental health as a business solution.

Check out our sponsors:

Northwest Registered Agent - Protect your privacy, build your brand and get your complete business identity in just 10 clicks and 10 minutes! Visit https://www.northwestregisteredagent.com/achieverfree

Shopify - Sign up for a $1 per month trial, just go to http://shopify.com/anxiousachiever

Cozy Earth - Give your home the luxury it deserves. Head to http://cozyearth.com and use code ACHIEVER for up to 20% off.

Express VPN - Secure your online data today. Visit http://expressvpn.com/achiever and find out how you can get up to four extra months.

Talkiatry - Head to http://talkiaitry.com/achiever and complete the short assessment to get matched with an in network psychiatrist in just a few minutes.

Working Genius - Take the working genius assessment today and get 20% off with code ACHIEVER at working http://genius.com

In this Episode, You Will Learn

00:00 Why the mental health conversation at work isn’t working.

07:00 The fear and freedom of leaving a prestigious role.

13:15 The mistake we make when trying to persuade leaders.

17:45 Why business results are the bridge to mental health.

21:15 How to reframe burnout as a performance problem.

25:00 Why storytelling can backfire without resolution.

30:45 What leaders should leave people feeling after sharing.

34:45 ​​The “motherhood penalty” and its parallels at work.

39:00 2 questions every leader should ask.

43:00 How do you move from drifting to designing your life?

47:00 3 questions that reset your day.

49:00 How do you help people shape roles around their strengths?

Resources + Links

Get a copy of my book - The Anxious Achiever

Watch the podcast on YouTube 

Find more resources on our website morraam.com

Follow

Follow me: on LinkedIn @morraaronsmele + Instagram @morraam

Follow David: on LinkedIn @davidclancefield

For so many high-achievers, food becomes the one thing we can control when everything else feels uncertain. In this episode, I’m joined by Melissa Gerson, founder of the Columbus Park Treatment Center for Eating Disorders, to talk about the relationship between anxiety, perfectionism, and the way we eat. We dive into why disordered eating serves a purpose, how restriction and overeating can both feel like relief, and what happens in your brain when anxiety and food become entangled. Tune in to rethink your relationship with food, anxiety, and control.

Check out our sponsors:

Northwest Registered Agent - Protect your privacy, build your brand and get your complete business identity in just 10 clicks and 10 minutes! Visit https://www.northwestregisteredagent.com/achieverfree

Shopify - Sign up for a $1 per month trial, just go to http://shopify.com/anxiousachiever

Cozy Earth - Give your home the luxury it deserves. Head to http://cozyearth.com and use code ACHIEVER for up to 20% off.

Express VPN - Secure your online data today. Visit http://expressvpn.com/achiever and find out how you can get up to four extra months.

Talkiatry - Head to http://talkiaitry.com/achiever and complete the short assessment to get matched with an in network psychiatrist in just a few minutes.

Working Genius - Take the working genius assessment today and get 20% off with code ACHIEVER at working http://genius.com

In this Episode, You Will Learn

00:00 What’s the relationship between anxiety and eating disorders?

02:00 How disordered eating creates a sense of control and safety.

05:30 What starvation does to the brain.

09:15 Why anxious people often turn to rigid food control.

11:30 The unspoken rules about eating at work (especially for women).

17:00 The perfectionist profile behind many eating disorders.

19:45 Signs your relationship with food may need support.

22:00 The gold-standard treatment for eating disorders.

23:15 When exercise becomes another form of control.

25:15 What leaders can do to build a food-safe workplace.

28:00 Why high achievers self-medicate with food, alcohol, and control.

Resources + Links

Get a copy of my book - The Anxious Achiever

Watch the podcast on YouTube 

Find more resources on our website morraam.com

Follow

Follow me: on LinkedIn @morraaronsmele + Instagram @morraam

Follow Melissa: on LinkedIn @melissagerson